– Does automating your strategy to revenue thrill you?
– Is studying new issues like crack to you?
– Do you thrive in a high-stress surroundings crammed with political infighting, paperwork, and company nonsense?
If that’s the case, then we’re the place for you, besides you may hate how good of an organization now we have – crammed with pleased, typically competent folks that don’t put up with jerks. Frankly, it makes me sick how good everyone seems to be.
We’re distant full time, have very versatile hours, persons are judged by their output, not by how a lot they suck as much as the boss, and turnover is tremendous low as a result of the corporate believes that pleased workers=pleased clients=pleased checking account. Merely disgusting, for those who ask me.
–Is that this an actual job advert?–
Yup! Amazingly sufficient, we really paid cash to put up this on a bunch of various job websites. And it’s not even a pyramid scheme! Plus, get this: the proprietor simply began paying our 60ish workers with cash as an alternative of Pizza Hut coupons – we’re huge time, individuals.
Our careers web page is definitely value testing to be taught extra about how insane we’re (sidenote: it gained an internet design award in 1993 – we’re a reasonably large deal):
–What do you guys do?–
We do a number of various things nowadays together with promoting superior shopper merchandise (these are only a small sampling):
Operating this Amazon Pay-Per-Click on company: PPCFarm.com (we’re actually, actually good at PPC)
And we are going to quickly be launching a SaaS product for stock administration.
We’re doing our greatest to develop quickly yearly, and it’s our intention to proceed that for so long as attainable, which suggests we want good individuals to assist us sustain with the expansion.
–What’s your organization like?–
1. You Can Be Your self. You don’t should placed on a pretend, skilled face. You possibly can simply be your self. You possibly can discuss smack to the CEO (extremely inspired), and nobody will assume something of it. You do not have to decorate up, or use formal language, or fake to be one thing you are not – you possibly can simply be you.
2. Main Alternatives for Profession Progress. We aren’t attempting to simply be a small enterprise. We plan to be doing $100 million yearly within the subsequent few years. We promote rapidly as soon as we determine expertise. It doesn’t matter what your credentials are – it issues what you get performed.
3. Full Time Distant/Versatile Hours. You’ll be working from dwelling in your pajamas, in your schedule. And we don’t care for those who work 10 hour days 4 days every week or 6 hours a day and catch up over the weekend. As long as you get a number of work performed, we’re pleased campers.
4. Full Work/Life Stability. For those who’re routinely working greater than 45ish hours, you’re gonna get a pleasant talking-to. We wish you to be working at 100% capability, which implies that that you must relaxation.
5. Strongly Anti-BS. Anyone within the firm can (and is anticipated to) inform the CEO when he’s incorrect. There are not any bureaucratic or BS guidelines getting in the way in which of getting work performed.
6. No Micro-Administration. When you’re educated and have demonstrated you already know your stuff, we’re fairly hands-off. In actual fact, for those who want exterior administration to remain on-task and motivated, we most likely aren’t the place for you.
7. No Poisonous/Incompetent Folks Allowed. We strive very laborious to display out imply or silly individuals earlier than they get in, however in case they slip by, we fireplace them rapidly. You’ll by no means should work together with somebody who’s an apparent fool or straight up malicious. No poisonous or incompetent individuals at work – may it actually be? [Yes]
8. Supportive Atmosphere. We don’t function by way of intense stress or unreasonable top-down deadlines. Everybody desires you to achieve success – inner politics are at a minimal right here.
9. A number of Raises. We do our very best to get forward of issues and provides raises preemptively, so you do not have to ask for one. It is commonplace in any respect for somebody to obtain 2+ raises per yr.
10. We’ll Put money into Your Coaching. We wish you and everybody to get higher continually. You’ll be studying new issues on a regular basis, and are strongly inspired to speculate time day by day to be taught new issues, enhance your system/work course of, and simply typically attempt to make your life simpler.
11. 4-6+ Weeks Trip. We 100% need you to recharge, so having loads of break day is completely value it.
12. Paid Maternity/Paternity Depart. We’ve even began letting individuals skip conferences throughout labor!
13. Self-Funded So We Can Do What’s Proper for Us. We don’t should reply to anybody however ourselves, so we will make the correct choice for the long-term well being of the corporate vs attempting to get huge too quick or lower corners to appease some egocentric investor.
–What are your organization’s values?–
Sure, these are legitimately our values. The careers web page is certainly value testing – it’s not simply regular company BS. We promise you’ll be taught lots about us.
–OK, so I’ve learn like 45 dang pages about you guys. Will you inform me what the precise job is?–
No.
–Wait… What?–
OK superb.Tremendous quick model:
Making us extra money by rising our Search Engine Optimization operation (which is simply managed on auto-pilot in the meanwhile).
Now we have affordable on-page search engine optimisation on one in every of our websites and an affordable content material manufacturing system, however now we have no backlink technique, the above objects may positively be improved, and we aren’t doing any search engine optimisation for any of our different websites.
Mainly, there’s A LOT of alternative to enhance visitors by way of search engine optimisation
Here’s a bulleted record of obligations:
– Be taught all the pieces now we have to show you about search engine optimisation
– Be taught far more by exploring issues on-line (we’ll pay for programs/teaching)
– Deploy what you be taught
– Determine methods to systematize and automate a lot of your actions so we will roll out methods throughout all of our branded websites
Like everybody else within the firm, additionally, you will have to innovate repeatedly – which suggests determining methods to enhance high quality and manufacturing pace.
It’s difficult, however enjoyable work that’s going to require a number of time and process administration, problem-solving, and an affordable quantity of individuals abilities.
–Do I would like expertise?–
We count on you to have a minimal of 70 years of expertise (120+ most popular).
Oh, you have not lived two lifetimes consuming and respiratory enterprise 24/7/365? Who TF do you assume you’re, studying this job description? You absolute buffoon.
Oh, you have not been straight concerned in not less than two (ideally three) World Wars? You are not even certified to function our espresso machine, you sentient potato.
Oh, you did not observe the Massive Bang because it occurred? Get out of right here, you pirated copy of Home windows 95.
I would actually throw up out of your insolence. The hubris to assume that you simply, you absolute idiot, may apply for an apprentice place – completely sickening.
Additionally, no you do not want any expertise.
We wish particular individuals, and don’t give AF what their background is. Most of our greatest individuals did nothing remotely associated to their present roles, so for those who’ve by no means performed something like this earlier than, do not sweat it. We rent 100x extra for potential than present information.
The Massive Bang requirement nonetheless stands although.
–What if I’ve search engine optimisation expertise?–
That’s positively cool, and we’d like to have you ever. It’s positively not a necessity, however for those who’re already a baller, we’d like to deploy your information!
–I’ve by no means performed search engine optimisation earlier than. Is that this the job for me?–
We’ll train you all the pieces we all know, then we’ll pay so that you can be taught extra.
It’s a closely technical job – you’re gonna be messing round with the backend of internet sites, coping with AI automations, but in addition doing backlink outreach, which suggests looking for alternatives for us to amass hyperlinks from different websites.
There’s a ton of alternative for artistic downside fixing on this function. If that you must be round individuals on a regular basis to be pleased, this most likely isn’t the proper of function, however for those who’re a nerd who likes technical stuff and discovering artistic methods to drive extra visitors, then this may be an incredible function for you.
–Do I would like a school diploma?–
You simply should be superior.
–Are there any geographic restrictions?–
So long as you’re in a rustic that doesn’t have lively sanctions from the US authorities, we have an interest. Our founder isn’t identified for respecting the federal government a lot, however they’ve all of the weapons, so…
–Do you do something black hat?–
No, and we gained’t need to in all probability.
–This sounds fairly good, although I’m nonetheless skeptical that this isn’t a pyramid scheme.–
You sound identical to the tax authorities!
–That doesn’t resolve any of my fears, however what do I have to do to use?–
Please submit your data on the next web page to use.W e promise to reply inside 5-10 enterprise days even when our reply is No.
There will probably be a number of steps on this course of, FYI, together with a protracted written utility, interviews with doubtlessly a couple of totally different individuals, and paid work check(s). Hiring the correct individuals is absolutely laborious and really costly if we do it poorly, so now we have to front-load the method. I am sorry about that and thanks for sticking with us.
When you’re in our pipeline although, I might anticipate supplying you with a remaining reply inside a couple of weeks, relying on the way it goes. We positively don’t need to string you alongside, and so long as you do what we ask, we promise to inform you “sure” or “no”, and to not simply ghost you (like everyone I match with on Tinder).
Thanks in your time and curiosity, and I hope we will work collectively quickly!